Father's Day (1997)
All she said was "My son is yours." Unfortunately, she said it to both of them.
Happy Father’s Day! I had been saving today’s feature for today because, well, it shares a name with this holiday. This is one that I knew I’d have to write about back when I started the newsletter, not only because of its low Rotten Tomatoes score and solid cast, but also because I have seen this movie before but can’t remember a single thing about it. That always makes it a treat to go into reviewing. In case it isn’t obvious, today we’re watching Father’s Day, the 1997 Ivan Reitman bomb starring Billy Crystal and Robin Williams as two men chasing down a runaway teen that they are each told they may be the father of, and that teen is for some reason following Sugar Ray (playing themselves) on tour well before they were popular. This is a classic buddy film/road movie scenario and it was not well received. It made $37 million on an $85 million budget (how in the hell was the budget $85 million for this?!?) and sits at a tidy 25% on Rotten Tomatoes. Now that I’ve got you all excited, we might as well press play.
Our movie begins with a montage of baby stuff. Photos of dads holding babies. Pacifiers. Stuff like that. Doesn’t really have the Ivan Reitman feel but hey what can you do? It’s a long montage over a late 90s Paul McCartney solo song. C’mon let’s get to the Robin and Billy action already! We see a teen boy run out and get on back of a motorcycle with a woman and ride off while who I am assuming his parents look on sadly. That part is in black and white though so maybe it’s still the montage. Ah, now we’re in the movie, in a courtroom in California (I can tell by the state flag being behind the judge. I’m real smart.). Collette Andrews (Natassja Kinski) enters to get the attention of lawyer Jack Lawrence (Billy Crystal). Apparently, they knew each other. They go out to lunch where they catch up, with Collette noting it’s been 17 years since they saw each other and mentions her 16-year-old son Scott (Charlie Hofheimer), who she claims Jack is the father of. Wacky! Jack meanwhile is on his third marriage with no kids so this takes my man by surprise. Collette says she never mentioned it because they had broken up and she had met her husband. She decided to tell him now because Scott ran away after a fight with his step-dad (the black and white scene from the end of the montage!) and Collette is starting to worry so she wants to enlist Jack’s help getting him back. Uhh okay. Collette mentions that Scott ran away with a girlfriend who’s father is protecting him, even helping him evade police questioning. Jack says he wishes he could help but doesn’t know what he could do.
Meanwhile, in San Fran, writer Dale Putley (Robin Williams) is suicidal and burns his life’s work in a garbage can before loading a pistol to shoot himself. The phone rings as he fellates the barrel of the gun so he answers. It’s Collette! They haven’t spoken in awhile and catch up while he has the gun to his head and the garbage can on fire. Damn, they meet up for lunch and Collette feeds Dale the same story she fed to Jack! Oh no! She’s lying to them! Honestly, it’s a smart idea. If I ever need to get something done, I’m gonna call up my ex-girlfriends and tell them they’re the mothers of my kids who are missing or whatever and hey while you’re looking could you do these tasks for me? Perfect scam. Dale is excited about the prospect of having a son and gladly offers to help track Scott down with Collette. Jack, meanwhile, has a court case delayed and calls home to his wife Carrie (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) to let her know he has to stay away longer for work. He finds Scott’s picture in his wallet and decides to try and find him. Meanwhile, Dale is giving us a Robin Williams character montage as he rehearses how he’s going to introduce himself to Scott. It’s like a really unfunny version of the voices thing he did in Mrs. Doubtfire. Jack tracks down Russ (Charles Rocket), the mechanic father of Scott’s girlfriend. He’s no help and Jack ends up kneeing Russ in the balls because this is his kid god damnit! Or so he thinks. Russ tells Jack that Scott and Nikki (Haylie Johnson) and some other teens had gone off to get money from Nikki’s mother and sends him off. Dale then enters looking for Russ which Jack takes interest in. One of the mechanics congratulates Jack on kneeing Russ in the balls.
Dale asks Russ for help locating Scott but reacts with some fear and confusion after what happened with Jack. Dale is the opposite of Jack, uncouth and goofy, and the lapels on his corduroy blazer are huge. Russ says he already met Scott’s father and Dale tries to explain the “long story” when the phone rings and Russ begins attacking Dale with the receiver, probably out of confusion but it really makes no sense. Dale runs outside and bumps into Jack. Dale mentions that he needs to talk to Russ to find his son which gets Jack’s attention. They don’t realize Collette is playing them, however, and both just assume they each have a different son in the group of runaway teens. Dale offers to drive as Jack doesn’t have a car. They drive slowly and make a White Bronco joke because it was 1997. Jack and Dale get to know each other in the car. Dale has an anxiety attack and passes out at the wheel, much to Jack’s annoyance.
They head down to the marina to locate their “sons” and Nikki but Nikki’s mom is no help. Jack has Dale do a dramatic performance to get her to help them, pretending to cry and freak out. She gives in and admits the teens are with the band Sugar Ray as the kids are part of a group who follows them on tour. Yeah? In 1997? Before “Fly” came out? I’m highly suspicious of this claim. Sure Lemonade and Brownies was an alright album but I can’t see teens dropping out of their lives to follow Sugar Ray before “Fly” even came out. After Nikki’s mom asks to see a picture to jog her memory, Jack and Dale find out they have been being played. Jack calls Collette to confront her. Collette admits she doesn’t know who the real father is. It could be Dale, Jack or her husband Bob (Bruce Greenwood). She asks them to find Scott and they can determine paternity later. She hangs up and Bob overhears her on the phone, questioning her about knowing who Scott’s father is.
Dale and Jack stop for lunch and continue to bond over their experiences with Collette. Dale discusses nude photos he took of Collette back in college. Dale wants to chase Scott into Sacramento but Jack thinks they’re being led on a goose chase. They decide to see the mission through just so they can determine the truth about what’s going on. They arrive at a Sugar Ray show and there’s Sugar Ray, performing their fast-paced loud early sound. Mark McGrath hasn’t even spiked his hair or dyed it yet. They try to find Scott but have no luck even as Dale takes the stage and grabs a mic. I wonder if Mark McGrath ever reflects on how he got to hump Robin Williams. Nikki goes on stage and kisses Mark causing Scott to storm the stage. He’s carried off by security and Dale and Jack give chase, with Jack headbutting a security guard to get backstage. They find Scott passed out in the alley. They get him on his feet and he pukes all over Jack’s suit. They carry him off and call Collette, letting her know they’ll be bringing him back tomorrow but they need to have the truth explained to them.
Dale and Jack continue to bond in the car. Dale discusses his suicidal depression and also all the sex he’s had, which leads Jack to wonder why he’s depressed in the first place. Dale keeps stopping the car abruptly as he thinks he’s going to run someone over. Back at Collette’s house, Bob vows to be there when Scott wakes up, stating that he is Scott’s father. He takes to the road to meet them. Collette and Bob make amends over her using Jack and Dale for her ruse. Meanwhile, Jack and Dale drag Scott up to the room as Scott vomits in his sleep all over the elevator. Jack and Dale both point out physical characteristics of Scott while he sleeps, each assuming a characteristic that matches one of theirs determines they are Scott’s dad. They try and get Scott conscious as Carrie calls Jack and hilarity ensues as he can’t explain what’s happening or his absence throughout the day.
Bob, meanwhile, gets a flat tire on his drive through the mountains and has to hoof it for help. In the morning, Dale finds thousands of dollars in cash in Scott’s pants pocket and Jack assumes he stole it. Scott wakes up in horror as he sees two grown men in the hotel room with him. Scott wants to leave and know where his clothes are and Jack and Dale realize they have to tell Scott what’s going on in order to get him to trust them. Scott doesn’t believe them and walks away to the bathroom. Jack has to leave for a court case and worries about leaving Scott with Dale alone. Scott finds his money missing and confronts Dale. Jack sticks it in a drawer for safe keeping and heads out to work. Bob makes it to the closest gas station and learns there will be a long delay for the tow truck and he then has to pee in a Portapotty, which a trucker backs into sending it down a hill. Nightmare fuel! Now I have a new fear. I’ll never use an outhouse a Portapotty again. Dale is trying to entertain Scott but he’s not really having it. Scott’s trying to wait for Dale to be disctracted so he can take his money back. He pours hot coffee in Dale’s lap and grabs his money and Dale’s clothes and takes off. Dale dons some of Scott’s clothes and takes off just as Carrie arrives at the hotel out of suspicion. Dale’s wearing a tight zipper shirt with huge jorts with a wallet chain and hotel slippers. Iconic. Upon entering his room, she sees the breakfast knocked to the floor and asks a bellhop (Ricky Harris) what happened. The bellhop had previously assumed Jack and Dale were engaging in some sexual activities and implies this to Carrie, leaving her confused. Bob has it worst of all though as the Portapotty he’s stuck in gets knocked further down the hill when the trucker attempts to tow it.
Dale interrupts Jack’s deposition to admit Scott ran off and they have to go to Reno to find him. Carrie attempts to find Jack and learns he’s on his way to Reno. Carrie heads to the airport and runs into Dale once again with Dale attempting to woo Carrie, not knowing she’s Jack’s wife. He just knows she’s a pretty lady. Jack and Dale board the plane but Dale is having a panic attack as he has a fear of flying. Bob is finally free from his shit hell and gets hosed off by a trucker. Scott arrives in Reno and goes to track Nikki down. He finds one of their friends who gives Scott the hotel room key as he wants to surprise her. He also learns two guys are there looking for him. He goes into her room and confronts her about making out with Mark McGrath then gifts her with a diamond choker which he spent $4,700 to get. Jack gets the hotel info they need while Dale has become addicted to slot machines. Back at the hotel, Scott gets confronted by Lee (Jared Harris) and Matt (Louis Lombardi) who ask a frightened Scott where the “stuff” is. Looks like he took money that was meant for a drug deal and used it on the choker. What an idiot! He could have used some fatherly guidance in this situation. Scott manages to run away from Lee and Matt and ends up getting hit by Jack’s rental car because this movie has almost as many coincidences as The Favor. Bob is having the worst day ever. He’s stuck at the gas station overnight after the tow truck cracked his axel towing his car.
At the hospital, Scott attempts to run off as Jack and Dale try to talk to him. They take him out for hot dogs as he vents about all the things he thinks make Bob too controlling. Jack tells Scott that Bob sounds like Mr. Rogers compared to his father, who killed Jack’s pet dog on his 10th birthday. They bond with Scott over classic rock as he is entertained by how goofy and personable Jack and Dale are. Scott comes clean about the problem with the money. Jack and Dale are shocked at the intensity of the situation but Jack, being a lawyer, wants to talk to them and they head over to the hotel. Jack has Scott call his mom to tell her he’s safe as Jack and Dale go to confront the dealers. They spot Scott in the car and Scott has to take off before Lee can shoot his gun. Jack comes back outside with water for Scott and finds his rental car missing, thinking Scott set them up.
Jack tells Dale he needs to give up and go back to his wife as they’re in too deep. He goes to call Carrie who walks up behind him. Jack explains the whole situation to Carrie and they go to leave. Jack warns Dale that even if he finds Scott again, Scott will probably just take advantage of him again. Dale tells Jack that Dale doesn’t have a successful career or a wife. He needs Scott in his life and wants Scott to turn him down personally for him to stop chasing Scott. Jack and Carrie leave as Sugar Ray and Scott’s friends hop in their tour van. Dale follows in a taxi and searches the concert for Scott. Lee and Matt are also searching for Scott. Jack and Carrie get a coffee and Carrie is upset that Jack has given up looking for him, which she takes as a bad sign that he’d give up on their potential kids too. Jack realizes he needs to put in the effort that Dale is. Dale is trying to get into a restricted area of the show, but a bouncer stops him until Jack arrives with backstage passes for the two of them and they go off in search of Scott.
They meet Sugar Ray and lie saying Dale is a German music producer. Scott tries to talk to Nikki but Mark McGrath stops Scott, telling him everyone is sick of him. Jack and Dale intervene, telling Nikki she needs to be honey with Scott since literally everyone else around can obviously tell she’s not into him. She confesses that she’s actually repulsed by him and he walks away defeated with Jack and Dale comforting him. A mime distracts Jack and Dale as Scott gets grabbed by Lee and Matt. How many damn times are they gonna have to chase this kid? Dale finds Scott and Lee explains that Scott stole money. Dale says Scott will be properly punished but they’re not having it. Dale attempts to headbutt Lee like Jack does to his enemies but he gets a headache trying. Jack headbutts Matt but Lee punches him down. Dale learns the technique and the two headbutt all the goons in the pit and get Scott to safety. Bob is finally brought home by Calvin (Dennis Burkley) the trucker who gives him advice on loosening up and showing Scott he loves him.
The guys get arrested for the brawl and bail out with cash, also paying for the car being impounded. They take Scott home to his family and Scott admits he has a fear of flying, possibly hinting he’s Dale’s son. They arrive at the house and are greeted by Bob who gratefully embraces him. He invites Dale and Jack inside. They watch adoringly as Scott, Bob and Collette reunite. Jack and Dale leaf through some family photo albums and they both realize that Bob is truly Scott’s father, despite the fact that he may be made of one of their DNA. Collette admits to Scott that she lied to them to get them to help. Scott thinks they should tell Jack and Dale the truth but wants to be the one to tell them. Scott however tells Dale that he’s the real father but to keep quiet about it because it may break Jack. They vow to keep it a secret. Jack joins them and Dale goes off to call and book a flight. Scott then tells Jack that he’s the real father. This little shit is always up to something. Bob and Collette thank Jack and Dale as they head out.
They arrive at Jack’s house and Jack gives Dale his car to take to the airport and leave in long term parking so he can avoid calling a cab. The two exchange laughs and a big embrace. Carrie watches as Jack shows Dale how to put his car into gear. Jack tells Carrie that Scott said Jack was his father, but Jack knows he was lying because he’s a lawyer. He knows that Scott lied to him to spare his feelings which he’s touched by. He also states that the feeling he could be someone’s father is wonderful and he and Carrie discuss having a baby. Looks like they’re starting now as they begin smooching. On the way to the airport, Dale sees a woman (Mary McCormack) with her car broken down on the side of the road and stops to help. He learns she was on her way to the airport to catch the same flight as he was and offers her a ride. They have immediate chemistry and discuss being single and going to wine country as they drive off. During the credits, Dale calls Jack to let him know he’s taking his car up to wine country, and that’s our movie.
Well, this one was a lovely little picture in my opinion. Maybe it didn’t have that much to do with fatherhood, but the combo of Billy Crystal and Robin Williams should have happened more often. They worked so well together and it’s a true shame this movie tanked so badly. While I still refuse to believe anyone actually followed early Sugar Ray on tour (like seriously, did someone in the Reitman family date DJ Homicide at the time or something?), that was a fun plot device so its inclusion was appreciated. I definitely didn’t hate this one. It’s pretty funny and features a very solid cast. So, go make some popcorn and put this on with your dad. It’s currently streaming free on Youtube. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.