Pauly Shore week is in full effect here at Stale Popcorn. Today, we’re going to be taking a look at the movie that started it all, the one where they thought “Hey, the kids like Pauly on MTV, right? They’ll all pack the theaters in droves to see him in a goofy comedy, right?” and they were correct. This one, despite being unfairly lambasted by critics (currently at 15% on Rotten Tomatoes), made a very solid profit and ushered in Paulymania for the 90s just as Ed Sullivan launched Beatlemania for the 60s. I know I should have started the week with this movie, but alas, I didn’t and here we are.
You already know we’re talking about Encino Man, the 1992 tour de force from Les Mayfield, in which two dimwitted high school nerds unearth a caveman and utilize him to become popular. I also learned there was a made for TV “sequel” called Encino Woman featuring zero of the original cast so I’ll be trying to unearth that one soon too, but for now, it’s time we thaw this one out and see what the critics hated so much.
Our movie begins with a harsh snowstorm during prehistoric human days. In a cave, a caveman (Brendan Fraser) and a cavewoman (Sandra Hess) attempt to make a fire but a large earthquake occurs, causing the caveman to fall in. During the present (1992) day, Encino, Los Angeles teen Dave (Sean Astin) wakes up from an earthquake with a melted Icee spilling on his white bed set. Dave digs a hole for a swimming pool in his backyard while his goofball friend Stoney (Pauly Shore) idly watches. His sister Tenna (Ellen Blain) tells them they’re losers who won’t end up going to prom. Dave vows to take Robyn Sweeney (Megan Ward) but Stoney insists he has no chance and suggest he kills himself so he can make the yearbook cover if he wants popularity. Dave claims he’s onto bigger and better things.
At school, Stoney acts a fool to get Robyn’s attention for Dave. Stoney’s fits are 10/10 right off the bat. Robyn’s boyfriend Matt (Michael DeLuise) is way cooler, more popular, more athletic and wealthier than Dave and Stoney points this out as to why Dave has no chance with Robyn. In class, their teacher (LEGEND Rick Ducommun) is discussing “the prehistoric man” and the ice age. Dave tries to flirt with Robyn, but Matt shuts shit down. Classmate Ella (Robin Tunney) states she’d go out with a cro magnon. Back at Dave’s, he and Stoney uncover a Musterian bowl, a prehistoric artifact. All of the sudden, another earthquake uncovers a large block of ice with a man’s body inside.
The guys try and get Dave’s mom (Mariette Hartley)’s attention, but she doesn’t care. They realize it’s a caveman in the ice and Dave thinks it’s his chance for fame and popularity and convinces Stoney to assist him. They take pictures of the excavation process and hide the solid block of ice containing the body in the garage next to a radiator. They promise to keep it a secret until they can thaw the ice. Dave proceeds to blow the cover in school immediately upon seeing Robyn, telling her about it but she doesn’t believe him and Matt bullies Dave for talking to Robyn warning him to stay away. One of his friends is Patrick Van Horn who I am happy to see in anything. Meanwhile at the garage, the ice begins to melt and the caveman awakens startled. The caveman explores the backyard and the house and is frightened by a garbage truck he thinks is a mastodon. He goes inside and is mesmerized by the television.
Dave and Stoney arrive home to find the melted ice and realize the caveman is inside the house when they begin finding tracks of his damage, including starting a fire in Dave’s room. They scare him and try to calm him down but the phone’s ringing causes him to react violently. Stoney lights a lighter and impresses the caveman with his ability to make “flame-age” and they teach him to use it, earning his trust. They also learn the caveman can imitate their speech and realize they need to teach him how to live “normal” in the modern era.
They begin by bathing him and giving him a makeover to “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred. They do a fantastic job on his hair and outfit honestly. They decide to name him “Link” after the Missing Link and begin to teach him. Dave’s parents arrive home to see all the damage and Dave’s dad (Richard Mansur) demands to know who Link is. Dave tells his parents that Link is Linkavitch Chomofsky, an Estonian exchange student who is there to help them dig the pool. He gaslights them into believing they gave Dave permission to have Link stay there and they believe him. They get Link ready for bed and state they’ll take him to school the next day, though Stoney suggests they take him to Taco Bell.
At school, Link gets the guys some positive attention. Dave wants to exploit him for fame but Stoney just wants to keep Dave as a friend. They conceive a plan to keep track of Link but he leaps from a balcony to approach Robyn and Ella, the latter of whom he sniffs her hair obsessively. The guys walk away and Ella vows to take Link to prom. Matt is not impressed. Link easily makes friends across the school’s different subcultures. Ella flirts with Link who repeats what she says, which she believes is him flirting back, and tells Stoney to bring Link to Blades that night.
At a gas station, Stoney teaches Link all about the four food groups, Milk Duds, Sweet Tarts, Corn Nuts and microwave burritos. We get a lot of fantastic early 90s product placement. He then takes Link to an amusement park where they have a blast. When they arrive back to Dave’s house, Dave is pissed that Stoney took Link for the day which is causing Link to imitate Stoney’s behavior. The gang joins the popular kids at Blades, a skate rink. Ella is still all over Link and Dave and Stoney clash with Matt’s gang. Dave shows Robyn a picture of them in the bathtub as kids for some reason. Why would you just have that with you at a skate rink? The fuck? Matt tries to mess with Link and begins to beat Dave up. Matt tries to fight Link but Link just takes the punch and leaves. Everyone is disgusted with Matt’s behavior.
The next day at school, Link’s popularity is on the rise thanks to his bravery in the face of Matt. Dave is bitter about Link’s popularity because he’s selfish. During a field trip to a prehistoric museum, Link freaks out seeing bone remnants of the world he knew. He attempts to build a fire on a replica of cro mags by a cave. Stoney realizes that Link caught on to the fact that his world is gone and consoles him. Back at Dave’s, Stoney begs Dave to be more mellow with Link.
At school, Link is taking drivers’ ed and Dave and Stoney try to stop him from driving. Link drives the course perfectly on two wheels and leaves the school property. They park the car which has a flat tire outside a bar as the cops try to investigate the missing car. Some guys get Stoney to do tequila shots as Dave attempts to romance Robyn and Link gets busy dancing. Robyn leaves Dave to go dance with Link as Dave is too uptight. Meanwhile at school, Matt and his goons are attempting to steal info on Link and discover he was registered under a dog license at the school, which leads to them trying to investigate further.
The guys get into a scuffle at the bar and Dave and Link get arrested. Matt harasses Robyn as she arrives home, driven by Stoney and the Vatos he befriended. Dave uses his one jail call to ask Robyn to the prom like an idiot and she tells him she wants to go with Link. Dave is upset and tries to abandon Link on the outskirts of town once they’re freed from jail. Stoney confronts Dave for his selfishness and Link breaks up the fight. They all apologize and admit they’re all family, Dave finally stuffing his selfishness for a second. About time.
On prom night, Dave’s staying home because he’s a whiny little baby and Link is going with Robyn. Matt breaks into Dave’s room and finds all the photographic evidence showing they unearthed Link and that he’s a caveman and not an Estonian teen. Looks like Dave finally got his pool finished which is neat. Matt taunts Dave and Stoney and heads to the prom to expose the group. He takes the stage and tells the crowd the truth. It backfires on Matt as the crowd thinks Link being a caveman is awesome. Dave tries to storm the stage and Matt punches him. Link then throws Matt into the punch and Stoney pours punch on his head. Dave joins Stoney and Link in a dance, showing Robyn he’s fun after all.
After prom, everyone goes to Dave’s house and he kisses Robyn, solidifying his popularity once and for all and winning the girl. Stoney and Link discover tracks in the house and realize Link’s wife from the beginning of the movie has thawed out after a recent earthquake. They doll her up and that’s our movie.
So, are you starting to notice a pattern here? Pauly Shore was derided for being a beneficiary of nepotism. That’s really the only reason I can think of for his movies being critically shit on so harshly back in their day. Literally, all the big name reviews I read for this state that your enjoyment of the film hinges on how much you can stand Pauly. Seriously? Of COURSE we can stand Pauly. He provides us with major laughage! I really think this one deserves more accolades. It gets my stamp of approval and four thumbs up (I count my toe thumbs). However, this one will cost you to watch as it is not currently included on any streaming service. I hunkered down $3.99 for this bad boy on Vudu, and you can do the same. We’ll be back tomorrow. Will we be inside some kind of experimental DOME shaped BIO environment? Or will be have to do our DUTY as citizens and be a JURY to a peer? Tune in to find out. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.